Restitution – A Testimony of Jesus Christ

At 19, I can recall exclaiming, “If I ever have children, I will rather die than take them inside one of those church buildings.” The predictable architecture and inner decor sent fire and panic up my spine.

I remember sitting in a Starbucks around the same time writing a list of questions. I wrote, “Is there a God? If so, why does He stand back as His children rip each other apart and prey on the young and helpless? How can a loving Father in Heaven send a child, whom He claims He loves, into a place void of love or anything close to it? And then, give that same child the added burden of a mental illness that makes every joy hoped for nothing more than a lovely mural in empty and haunted corridors?”

I concluded with, “If this misery, this “Refiner’s Fire,” is evidence of God’s love, then I rather He hates me.”

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